To the UK and Back!
It was a long time coming and a lot happened between the COVID-19 outbreak and my divorce, so yes, this trip was way overdue. It was also very much needed.
I took a direct flight as I did not have much time to spare and due to the unpredictability of flight cancellations coupled with pilot shortages post COVID, I certainly didn’t want to risk losing a day or two of vacation bliss! I mean, who does? I like to be in control of my time, yes, I know “surprise,” and I may be even a little bit of a control freak… but hey! If I can prevent something from delaying my plans, then I am going to grab it by the horns and not waste time that could be better spent on family and fun. The flight was just under 10-hours and no surprise I was a little worn out, but travel will do that to you, right? I was met by Mark, my “big brother”. Mark drove 4+ hours to pick me up so that I didn’t have to rent a car and to be perfectly honest I don’t think it would have been wise to drive myself.
Back to reminiscing, remembering….
When your destination collides with the familiarity of your home state or country, you just begin to connect with the terrain, accents and people, knowing you are back where your life started and that it will always be your home even though it is not necessarily where you wish to permanently live. It feels in some ways that you were never actually gone, and you can slip right back into the way you once felt prior to leaving.
You absorb everything, like the countryside being so beautifully green, fields bright yellow with rape seed, hedges are everywhere and the narrow roads wind through them with ease and simplicity. Everything is definitely smaller and cramped, but you are still left with a feeling of space, I guess, a sense of openness, yet a level of perfect closeness all at the same time. The emotions that flood in, as I look around, are “OMG this country really is gorgeous!” I just get a strong sense of belonging and a sense of permission to relax free from typical everyday worries. I am home.
5 hours Later……
I arrived at my dad and Brenda’s house, and I was greeted with open arms, hugs and a feeling of belongingness. The love and excitement was surreal. It was just how I imagined it would be, but I needed a fast break from the bliss to attend to a much-needed date with my shower.
My dad is and can be stubborn (probably where my brother gets it from) but as with so many of us, life has truly worn away and softened those edges to the point that when we last visited my youngest son came home and referred to him as his cuddly grandad. I feel more connected to him now that I am grown than ever and wish I lived closer.
Once I was all cleaned up, we headed out for a refreshing beer, wine and some delicious food at one of the many local establishments. I had pie and chips followed by an unrefusable Sticky Toffee Pudding. Yes, I know, me and desert doesn’t happen often, but time with my dad and Brenda was a special occasion! It was so good to catch up, relax and enjoy their company.
We spent our time visiting local areas, when you are away it is easy to forget how beautiful the buildings, and countryside are across the pond. We talked and reminisced about the past for hours and put the world to rights, which means basically solving the world’s problems of which there are many, always trying to keep the banter (a fun conversation) although as with all families these
discussions can sometimes be quite spirited. I enjoyed my time with them so much and came away wishing I had more time. Brenda even had a special surprise for me. Are you ready for this because I sure wasn’t? She had put together a scrapbook of our family and it was my gift to bring home. What made this book extra special were the pictures she had managed to find of my mum. Pictures I had never seen before, which made it even more special. One picture in particular was of my mum and a group of her colleagues who were celebrating that they had sponsored 45 guide dogs for the blind across 9 years! What an accomplishment, mum! Another amazing photo was of my mum in our old garden (yard) and this one naturally took me back to the house I grew up in. It was in this moment I had a feeling that I could be almost standing right beside her. I looked up at Brenda and she could see the happy and sad emotion on my face, and I think we both shed a tear or two. Will Brenda ever truly know how much this meant to me? My dad and Brenda had found each other after my mum had passed. Brenda is a loving, caring and good-hearted person who is a perfect companion and confidant to my dad. It was a new chapter for both of them, so there was never any reason for anyone to feel threatened that she was or should replace my mum. My dad loves her, and she loves him. The magnitude of their love shows on both their faces. Love is not a word I use these days, unless I refer to my boys and I am good with that. Another blog for a different day, yes? Love is a word I think is thrown around way too easily these days, but these two do love each other and I really couldn’t wish for a better partner for my dad.
Mark, oh brother…,
Always my protector, as stubborn as an ox, and still you got to love him!
After a short 3 days, I headed over to Mark and Sarah’s (Big Brothers house). Now Mark and Sarah’s house is a real home, it’s lived in and always has family coming and going. One thing I regret with my boys is that they didn’t have the experience of extended family growing up, they had other experiences which were unique, but growing up around a family is different. In all honestly though who’s to say if it makes any difference as long as they are loved.
Mark, Sarah and I went into the local village and visited a few pubs, starting at the Aston Arms, to the Advocate which are proper pubs and finishing at Dans Bar. It was really good to be out with Mark and Sarah and to revisit these experiences. “Proper“ pubs, hard to explain just a feeling, community in a way. I enjoyed every moment and after consuming a few bevies we headed back to their house for a curry and more drinks. OMG we drank a lot and the next day I swore I was not going to drink a thing, but my nieces and nephews were coming over with their families for the afternoon and dinner, “proper“ roast dinner that included Roast Lamb, Beef and Ham and all the fixings. In reality I guess there was no way I was not going to have a drink and to top it off one of my nephews had made his own gin which was awesome, and I certainly couldn’t turn that down, it would have been rude not to entertain it, right?
Back on the road….
Mark dropped me at the train station, and I headed on my journey south. This journey is a part of my inner journey too. It was an accomplishment to travel alone, not only fly but across the country. I had not traveled on public transport for years so with my suitcase computer bag and handbag off I went.. Once I was on the first train and the pangs you get saying goodbye were gone, I felt in control, relaxed and totally at ease, afterall it was an adventure. The first train took me to Kings Cross Station in London and then to navigate across London on two tube (underground) rides to Waterloo Station.
I had fond memories as a young girl going on a bus called the London Link with Mark to the Kings Road in London, this is where I had my first McDonalds “Big Mac” and also bought outlandish clothes after all this was where you would see Punks, with their spiked colored hair, the best clothing and piercings. Punks had an unmistakable ease with whom they were, even if they were far from the norm back then, they made a statement.
For me they were inspiring, they did not seem to care what other people thought of them and I took that as empowerment, something that generally does not come easily, we are far too reliant on the popular opinion of others and what is perceived as acceptable . These individuals made their own rules with fashion in every way with no apology. From Waterloo Station I was able to get the final train to Farnborough Station where my good friend Sue picked me up and took me to her house, this is where I would spend the last leg of my trip.
Now Sue…. is my ex-sister-in-law but far more importantly a good friend from way before my marriage. We had been friends since we met in our local pub that was called Spennies, we met as you do through mutual friends and remember everyone knows everyone in your “Local”, Sue helped me get a position in the company she worked for and the rest is history. Sue and I hung with a lot of other people as well but we were on the same page all the time. She was the person I would drive to see if I needed help and I was her person. Prior to working with Sue I had been in the beauty profession and used to style her hair (sometimes a little scary) but it was always cool. Anyway even though her brother and I were getting divorced we stayed in touch. She is his sister and therefore I would expect her to support him, and holding grudges does nobody any good. It is far better for me to process and move on, drama is exhausting and honestly a waste of time.
Sue is one of those friends that even though I hadn’t seen her in years it’s like it was only yesterday that we had been night clubbing and partying together, whether in London or a local club it was always a blast and we always had each other’s back. We would go out and never used our true names, we would make up professions, each time a little bit more outlandish to see if the guys that spoke to us would believe, and honestly most of the time they bought it. I guess we were quite good actors. Sue was the person I started my top/bottom cheers with when having a cocktail and only a select group of people are able to do that with us even now. Sue’s husband Phill is a good sport and while he cooked Sue and I played 80’s music and danced the night away in her kitchen, “party”!
Sue and I had a mission to go into Reading to get our ears pierced, we both already have pierced ears, but we wanted to get a piercing within the ear for example on the Rook. This was not for any other reason than we could and why not, unfortunately only Sue was able to get hers done as I had to fly the next day and because of the length of the flight and possible swelling, bummer! So needless to say, I have added it to my list of things to do next. Perhaps another blog, stay tuned!
While with Sue I had wanted to visit John. John is my father-in-law and he was in my mind, as well as Doreen, my late mother-in-law a huge part of my life. Since I last saw John his Parkinson’s had taken a hold and he is now a shell of his once strong tall confident self. It is so sad to see these members of your family deteriorate this way and it is something I would not wish on any one. Sue took me to visit with John each day, and although very sad I could not have done this trip without taking the time for someone who always gave his time freely to help others.
The last thing on my list, while with Sue, was to reconnect with my brother’s oldest two daughters and youngest son. Kelly, whom I had not seen since she was a young child picked me up from Sue’s house and drove me over to hers where Ashley and Finlay were waiting along with all of their partners and children. The situation felt comfortable from the get-go. I can’t explain why, except that they made it that way and we all commented that it was as if we had never lived far away from each other. I guess that is family.
The trip feels like it was so long ago now! My takeaway is that, as I always say… Life is short, family is golden, and you have to enjoy it! To live and to be your best authentic self is a BIG deal! I will go back sooner than usual and on the next visit I am going to visit Scotland, as Sue is moving there as we speak. I am back into the swing of things now. I sold the family house, and I am finally moved into MY new house, working and loving it as well as planning my next girl’s trip.
So much has happened since the trip. A tale for another time……
What’s your next adventure?
